Flashback
by Kettugasm
Summary: Mild MxM, one-shot, after Mello goes boom in the mafia hideout. Read and review!


**Ahem, just a little something I threw together after watching the episode where Mello exploded himself. I started on this a long, long time ago for a series of short MxM fics. Anywho, just something to get me back into a Mello mood, (I might be working on Chocolat Blond if my studies allow ;) **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters, yadda yadda yadda.

* * *

The sound of the siren was surprisingly quiet, the noises of the paramedics around me, their voices, muddled with the rest of the sounds in the speeding ambulance. It was so hard to open my eyes, the lids fluttered as he finally got them open. What was that searing, burning pain on the left side of my body? I moved my head a bit, my weary eyes catching sight of my shoulder. It was decimated, to say the least, the flesh red, angry, bleeding and charred. I felt myself sick, nauseated to see such a horrifying sight. The same thought coursed through my mind over and over again.

_Oh my God, I'm dead. I'm dead, I can't be alive, and even if I still am, I'm going to die. Oh God, I'm dying, I'm dead, I'm going to die._

I couldn't feel anything after a while on my left side, my body, my very skin having gone a pleasant, tingling numb. Even as my right eye was untouched, my vision was still blurred, but even so, my hazy blue eye focused in on one image in the ambulance. At first, I couldn't quite make out just what it was, exactly, but it definitely had some shape to it. A head, shoulders, a torso, arms and legs... so it was a person, but whoever they were, they sure as Hell weren't a paramedic. I could see stripes, red and black; they seemed to stretch on for miles.

_"Is... he going to survive?"_

It spoke, but whose voice was that? Why was someone concerned about me, it's not like I was even that important to have someone worry about me. A smile curled my parched, cracked lips as a noise gurgled from my throat, a laugh; who cared about me, honestly? I was always just Second Place, the loser, no one should ever care about me. And I was glad no one did. Roger didn't, Near didn't, no one at Wammy's did. Probably... not even L cared.

L...

Maybe dying wasn't going to be so bad, I'll be able to see L again. L was dead, and so was I going to be very soon. I just hoped Near wouldn't die soon, I didn't want to have to contend for first place with him in Heaven like I did on Earth.

_"We're not sure, he's sustained severe third degree burns. To put this bluntly, he might not make it to morning. But I promise you, sir, we'll do whatever we can to make him comfortable."_

So, that's it, huh? Over, just like that. Maybe squeezing the trigger on that explosive device was a bad idea. But no, it was probably the lesser of two evils; I'd kill myself before I'd be caught in the presence of that fake L. What a goddamn abomination, a mockery of everything I'd grown up with, everything I knew and adored.

_"Can I at least stay... with him until the end?"_

Looks like you won, Near, you big-headed pansy. I was the one who always did the work, I got things done, and look where it got me. All you ever did was just sit around and play with your toys, while I did everything I could to find Kira, to avenge L. So, why am I the one lying in a hospital, dying? Goddammit, this isn't fair! This sucks, how could something so stupid like this happen?!

_"Oh? You do know him? I could have sworn you must've been some heroic bystander."_

_"Yeah, you could say we're old friends."_

...What the Hell? Old friends? Just who the Hell is this guy?! Ugh, God, all of the sudden I feel so... tired. So sleepy... Dammit, I'm dying now, aren't I? Slipping out and away, the curtain's down for me. At least there's no pain, I couldn't imagine dying a painful death. At least I got to go out nice and calmly, like I'm just drifting away... Ahh... It's not so bad, this whole dying business. I wonder if L suffered, if heart attacks are painful... And, why do I get to go out peacefully? What did I do to earn this little treat? I... don't know, but things are... getting so comfortable...

Mmmm... everything feels nice now, I like it. No pain, no worries...

_"...Sorry, I wish I could have been there sooner, Mihael."_

He's... holding my hand, I've got to open my eyes again, I want to see what this person looks like. I want to thank him for at least getting me out of all that rubble so I could die here, in comfort.

_"Just rest now... I'm here, I'm here."  
_

... ... ...red hair... brown eyes... that face...

_"It'll all be okay, I promise..."_

... he's holding my... hand tighter now...

_"I'm sorry, Mihael..."_

... ... ... ... ... ... ...Matt...?


End file.
